What I've discovered, though, over the past few weeks is that it is okay to be uncomfortable and unsettled and not know for sure what is going to happen next. In fact, it's better to not know and to trust God fully with your life and your future. Otherwise, you risk becoming so confident that you are doing what you are meant to do that you may not feel like you even need God to guide you or come through for you or provide for you. I know this seems perhaps a little reckless and irresponsible, but bare with me.
I was listening to "No Such Thing" by John Mayer yesterday and it really hit home. Not only that, but I feel like the song really touches on some of the pressures that are placed on us by society and those who believe to have our best interest in mind. Now I may be way off from what this song is really trying to get at, but this is just what it spoke to me. It begins with this:
"'Welcome to the real world', she said to me
Condescendingly
Take a seat
Take your life
Plot it out in black and white"
Now isn't this what we are told by everyone growing up? Plan out your life, start thinking about what you want to do, start preparing for this and that. Now, I'm not saying we should grow up without a care in the world and not be responsible for our actions and what is coming at us. But hasn't it gone a little too far? I remember when I was in growing up in school and the teachers would say "Now I know this seems strict, but we're just trying to prepare you for the 5th grade, when things are going to be different."
And then I got to the 5th grade, and the teachers would say "We're just trying to prepare you for middle school. You think this is hard? Middle school is a whole different ballgame." And the middle school teachers would tell us they were trying to prepare us for high school; the high school teachers would be preparing us for college and college professors try to prepare us for "the real world."
Maybe you did not experience this, and I'm sorry if I falsely assumed that. But are we not pressured starting our freshman year of high school to know everything about what we want to do with our lives? The college we want to go to, the career we want to pursue, etc.? We live in a fast-paced society that treats the education system like an assembly line, where the end of someone's education represents a finished product completely ready to occupy their predestined niche in society and work right away and have a nice, comfortable salary and life. And if not, we've been conditioned to believe that something went wrong. That it's not normal. That the person made some sort of mistake.
This, I believe, is an obstacle in the face of every individual born in this generation. I also firmly believe that it is a stumbling block in our spiritual lives and in the Kingdom of God itself. The truth is, we don't have to have everything mapped out. We don't have to jump on a track and stay on it for life. We don't have to decide what we want to do for the rest of our lives and who we want to be and where we want to live. We don't have to and we can't.
Only God can. And he will. God will call you to be someone. He may do it in the form of a loud, resounding wake up call or in the form of a quiet whisper. He may call you by giving you gifts and passions, leading you to use them for His glory. Our Lord is creative and good, and will call you in whichever way He feels necessary. His calling might completely go against everything the world around you is saying. While the world around you is telling you to aim for a job that will pay really well and give you comfort and security, He may (and probably will) call you to a career that doesn't pay as well but better suites your passions and gifts, in order to better further His Kingdom. While the world is screaming at you to save your money and build your savings to achieve financial security, God may (and probably will) call you to live a humble life, giving the money you don't need to the needy and only taking your daily bread (Proverbs 30:8,9).
While the world screams at you to plan things out and "secure" your future, God begs with you to live by faith, not by sight (2 Corinthians 5:7). He wants you to trust Him and fall into His arms and not turn the blessings He has given you (money, family, a job, a house, etc.) into your treasures and your strongholds. He longs to get you to trust Him and praise Him as a Holy God that will never ever leave you empty handed. A God who takes care of the birds, and therefor will take care of you with even greater consideration (Matthew 6:26). A God who will work all things for the good of those who love Him and put faith in Him (Romans 8:28). A God who loves you more than the world and will never let go of you. Another verse in the song goes like this:
"They love to tell you
Stay inside the lines
But something's better
On the other side"
The world draws lines for us to stay in, but they only lead to more stress and hardly ever produce any fruit. All along, God is on the sidelines calling you to come to Him. To the other side. To something way, way better than the world can ever provide or offer you. He will take care of you and use you to bring glory to Him and establish His Kingdom on Earth.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that we need to stop worrying about how we're going to make it in the future and just love God with all our hearts and place full trust in Him that He will provide a way for us to succeed in life and in His Kingdom. This semester, I've seen this come true. I wasn't sure I would even be able to return to Shorter University, due to financial strains. But God provided a way through a grant. Doors have been opened for jobs, volunteering opportunities, etc. I am confident that God is watching over me and sending his angels to hold me up each and every day (Psalm 91). After studying the book of James, I have tried to commit to praying with faith. It isn't always easy, but God always comes through in some shape or form. He is continuously freeing me from anxiety and outside pressures, and He is just as present for you as He is for me. He loves you and He has everything under His perfect control.
in His grip,
Zack Akvan
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